once i lived on the lakes, once i was beautiful when i was a swan

•June 15, 2008 • Leave a Comment

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So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not as stupid as I may have thought I was. Well kinda. I still don’t believe that I’m all that intelligent. But at the same time everyone has different areas that they shine in. Mine happens to be music. I can have an intelligent conversation about music. Do I hang around people who talk about music like I do? Unfortunately I do not. And with that being the case it kinda made me forget that I’m not stupid and I’m not boring. I just have different interests. I don’t care about politics or technology or smart things. But we can talk musicals, we can talk about carl orff and which part of the trionfi is better (well not yet since I’m still listening to the Catulli Carmina and I haven’t touched on Trionfo di afrodite.) But I don’t meet people who even know who that is, or have ever heard of his music even though O fortuna is used in so many movies and commercials and everyone has heard it. But no one knows where it came from, no one knows what the words actually mean, no one knows that it’s the beginning piece of the carmina burana and the ending piece as well.

I’d name my kid Amadeus. I like the name it’s unique. Why else do I like it? It’s Mozart’s middle name. And mozart is brilliant.

So, I feel better slightly now about myself. No, I’m not stupid. Just the things that I know about other people don’t. And that doesn’t make me stupid. It just makes us different.

That could be a problem if you’re trying to find out if you’re compatible with someone else, being that they wanna talk about who’s going to be president or whatever science nerdy thing they like, and you’re too busy listening to the rythm of their heartbeat and that’s what is keeping the small smile on your face. It could be a problem to most but it’s not a problem to me. But I’ve already talked about why not having the same interests should never be a problem because that’s not why you form a romantic relationship with someone. I won’t do it again this post because I think you guys get the point now.

But like I don’t look down on a person for thinking differently than I do. I like the fact that they are passionate about something and they care about something. I remember was it last week? I think it was last week and I was sitting at Brian’s house with people and this one guy was talking about something and of course I didn’t know what they were talking about because they are all very awesomely smart people, and like I looked over at Josh and his mouth was open and he looked so excited. And it just made me smile how interested he was.

Anyway, so I think I wrote an angry blog (goes to look)

…I over reacted. To an extent. He was right. I was being stupid. It all started because I couldn’t talk to him about my problems. He just wanted to help. He placed his trust in my hands. All of it. And here I was barely giving him a drop. He was upset because he was giving me his all and I wouldn’t give him anything because I was afraid of what he may do because of what everyone else has done. But he’s right. He’s not everyone else. He shouldn’t have to be punished because guys are shitty. It’s not fair to him to be what I need for him to be and me not doing the same for him. I’m just running it back through my head and like… he’s an amazing individual. He just told me look here I’ll tell you everything about me I’ll lay it all on the table. Because I trust you. And all he wanted was the same in return. He deserves it. He has been nothing but good to me and I was keeping myself closed off. Had I been in his shoes yea, I probably would’ve said the same things he did… so I admit, I was wrong. And even though I got mad and angry with him he’s still sticking around because he sees the good in me. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such an amazing guy I’m sad that we don’t live closer but I’m glad that we aren’t letting the distance stop us from being together.

I pretty much knew from the moment I met him that I wanted him to be my boyfriend.Β  Sometimes you just know you know?Β  He drove allllllllll the way to altamonte to my job just to see me for 15 minutes. It ended up being longer but the intent was just to see me for a short amount of time I don’t believe I’m worth all that trouble. I’m just Dyamond. I’m not smart, I’m not all that pretty, I’m boring, kind of slutty ( i didn’t say whore this time josh) there’s nothing fantastic about me that should make anyone wanna go out of their way just to come and see me drive from Mt. Dora to my store to see me for a few minutes while I’m working which means I can’t focus on you at all I have to work. So you’re pretty much just coming to watch me in a sense… and be okay with that? Why? I just… I don’t know.

I don’t get why any of them like me. I don’t understand what they see. Will thinks I’m awesome. He also thinks I’m beautiful and doesn’t see how anyone as beautiful as I am would want him. I’m not all that great. He’s a great guy and he makes me happy. Two good guys in my life who like me. I don’t get it. But I’ll take it :).

He and Chris have to meet soon. That kinda makes me nervous. Hopefully all will go well.

And I actually wanna meet Chris’s kid. That’s weird coming from me being that I’m not very thrilled about kids. And I’ve dated someone with kids before and never wanted to meet them. One guy though was 37 and had a daughter that was only a year younger than me. ThatΒ  creeped me out kind of alot and that was why I didn’t want to meet her. He has two other daughters too I believe who are younger but I didn’t care to meet them either. But I wanna meet his daughter. And I understand that it’ll take time being that she doesn’t live with him she lives with her mother and that could get complicated. But it still makes me excited that one day I’ll hopefully get to meet her. Because she’s an important part of his life. And anyone who is an important part of his life I wanna get to meet. Same goes for will. And even Josh. Because I care about them.

Will and Josh met yesterday. -Big sigh- The whole time they talked about nerdy shit. THE WHOLE TIME!! like…. THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!! I guess that’s what happens when you get two big nerds together. I’m glad that they got along though. Will likes him so I’m happy. Because if one didn’t like the other I’d be kinda sad. So the fact that they hit it off was very uplifting.

Good lord this piece is almost 9 minutes long. It’s by Antonio Vivaldi Kyrie Eleison. The thing I don’t lke about listening to classical sometimes is that certain pieces were arranged and composed by so many different composers. And if you don’t remember who arranged or composed the particular version you are looking for, you are stuck searching and searching because it was created so many different ways. Like this one I wasn’t looking for, but I love Vivaldi and it was a really nice piece of music.

I lost my train of thought. I was going to write about something else but like magic it disappeared. I’m sleepy. I have to go cook because I’m poor. If everyone wasn’t so busy today they could have some of my tasty chicken alfredo. But you know hey fuck you too.

πŸ™‚

My social life = yay

•May 20, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Alright so really though my social life is like blossoming very quickly. And as it is happening I’m just like… wow. Is this me? going out and being social? It feels good it really does.

I’ve had a couple dates and I have more on the way. I’m not bragging I’m not saying this to say “oh my gawd I’m so fantastic so many guys just wanna be with me!” But out of those dates all of them won’t necessarily become lovers, some of them will become friends and that’s good for me because I really do need friends.

I also need more of a life. I need more hobbies. So now I’m on a desperate quest to find more hobbies. More things that I like to do. So hopefully with these new friendships will come new hobbies. And maybe you guys have ideas how I can go about getting new hobbies.

Another thing I want to do is get into more things online. I am here alot but I am just sitting here doing nothing. I like to talk to people, I like being apart of online communities and such, so I want to do more of those types of things too. You can meet pretty cool people on the internet. Even if you never meet them. So, need ideas on how to get that going too.

But umm I had a date today, the guy talked my ear off but I am not necessarily complaining at all he was nice and… different.

heh.

I enjoyed the date.

During our coffee date a guy came and he sat over at another table. Later on I found out he sat there on purpose. He was a dreamy looking guy. So after the date, I went back over to the guy and I told him that I thought he was gorgeous. That is out of character for me. If you’re not online and I can’t send you an email saying you’re gorgeous, [which I still rarely do because I’m a nervous little woman.] then I will just keep it to myself and talk about it with friends or something. But this time I did not. He asked to take my picture [he’s a photographer] for fun and it was cool. We ended up talking for about an hour and exchanging numbers to meet again. So I was happy about that. My boldness caused me to meet another interesting person who I will hang out with at a later time.

It feels good to be social. It feels nice to want to interact with people. And here I was a person who would rather be closed up at home than hanging out with someone and that is slowly changing. No, I’m not a person who enjoys big parties and clubs, but going to hang out at someone elses house maybe, is interesting to me. And going out to other places with folks is nice too.

I don’t think I wrote about this here but some time last week I went through this rough period where I thought that my being really sexual was a problem and maybe I should change that because it destroys relationships. But then I thought about my relationships, and they didn’t necessarily end because of the sex. There’s nothing wrong with being a sexual person and I find it slightly funny that I thought that why my relationships failed, was because I wanted a lot of sex. You can have sex and have healthy relationships too. And besides, it does take two to do the dirty deed [kay we know about the other options yes but they really aren’t relavant.] so if I had a problem then so did the other people. Not like they did it with me because I made them. So I’m done bashing myself for that and back to taking pride in it again.

I do want more though. More out of my life. I am going to school in the fall which is fantastic, I’m moving out soon and by the way I do enjoy my job at walmart. It’s a lot of work but the people make it fun. And plus I don’t mind working as long as I’m busy and not bored. So it’s a sweet deal. But I went through a transformation a few years ago and I began to love myself and embrace myself, and then I was done. And now I’m just like okay… what more is there to you Dyamond? I’m not very smart, I’m not dumb but I’m not smart. I don’t do things, I sit at home and…. I just think there should be more to me than my pretty face and my love for sex and music. So now I just want to change all that and develop myself a bit more? Is that the right thing to say? Possibly.

But that’s all with me. Besides my small inner struggle I’m doing okay. Life is good. I’m good. And… well hopefully you all are good too πŸ™‚

Updatage!

•May 2, 2008 • 4 Comments

So I’ve been posting every so often but not as much as I use to. I started using my myspace blog again and I’ve slightly forgotten about this one. I’ve posted some of the blogs I’ve posted there on here, and I didn’t want to do that this time so I figured I’d just write one big update about everything that has been going on in my life.

So a few weeks ago I got a job at westgate resorts. As a telemarketer. I fooled myself into believing that it was a wonderful job… well I thought that for the first week but then once I got on the phones I began to seriously seriously hate it. I’d leave there nearly in tears [i wouldn’t dare let myself cry in front of those people; although there was this one time where I couldn’t hold it and I was walking to lunch. I had on very huge shades so that covered it up.] and it was stressing me out waaay too much. That was the hardest job I’ve ever had in my life. People are mean to telemarketers. Mean Mean MEAN! Getting called all sorts of names, getting hung up on, I mean we were offering them nice things but I couldn’t get past “Hello this is Dyamond calling from westgate resorts.” I hated it and I couldn’t wait to find something new.

My mom suggested I apply for walmart and she would help me get in there. Well I applied and ended up getting a call from one of the stores and she didn’t even have to help! It’s not the best job in the world but I think I’ll like it. I like to keep busy. What’s also great about this job is that it pays me more so I’ll finally be able to move out! And I work overnight from 10pm to 7am. So I’ll have time to go to school!

I tried to figure out what that job at westgate was sent to me for. I believe everything has a reason for being in your life the good things and the bad things. But for a little while I thought that the universe just simply hated me and wanted to give me a shitty job. But this job is actually the reason why I went ahead and applied for college. It made me realize that I do need a college education. I want to do something I love and enjoy not something that I’ll hate and have to take just to make ends meet. If I don’t go to school it’ll be harder for me to find a job that will even pay me enough money to live completely alone roommate not included. So that’s the reason it was put in my life. To wake me up and make me take my ass to college!

So I’m very excited about starting in the fall πŸ™‚

My brother is listening to gangster rap in the other room.

someone shoot me now.

Well with this new job I should be able to move out within the next month or so. I plan on moving around the middle of june or early july. Have some time to look for a room with decent rent and have monies to do whatever else I’d need to do in order to move out. I’ve told you guys that will be a major key to my happiness. Getting out of here will make it more possible for me to be completely happy with my life. And I’m so glad that’s happening now. So so so so glad. I could cry. Happy tears πŸ™‚

My hair is brighter, it’s like an auburn color dark auburn. I plan on dying it again within another month or so to make it more lighter. I also plan on stretching my first hole in my ears [i have two in each.] to a 6. maybe eventually 2 [smaller the size bigger the whole] I desire to have more dresses in my wardrobe more clothes other than tshirts and jeans. I don’t know. Slowly but surely I’m changing.

I also desire to have more people in my life. More that I can call my friends. I’ve had a negative outlook on friendship for a very long time and now I’m starting to realize how important it is to have people that care about you in your life. Going through life alone isn’t fun. Relationships hurt. And through my heartbreak and my life struggles I haven’t really had anyone to go to because I wouldn’t open up and trust anyone. And friends aren’t just there for you to pick you up when you fall but also there to just share life with and enjoy and be around and stuff. So just appreciate the people you have in your life. I sure will πŸ™‚

Well the biggest change in my life is I think I may be poly. I met a guy a few weeks ago who was poly, and we started to talk and the connection was definitely there. Eventually we met up for a date and it was fantastic. The following week I went to dinner and met his partner. She’s pretty cool herself. I click with him. I enjoy him. And even though I feel like I should be running away due to the fact he’s already with someone and I’ve never been in this sort of relationship before. But you know it doesn’t bother me. It excites me more than makes me afraid. And now I’m officially his girlfriend. And I’m having thoughts about him leaving me but that’s not stemming from the fact that he already has a partner, it’s just because I’ve been left before in the past. But I’m working through them and he is making an effort to be with me and show me he cares and I know that the more time I am able to spend with him the more secure I’ll feel. So that’s a big change in my life. I’m in a polyamorous relationship with someone. Some people will frown upon this and not think it’s possible. I’ve had enough negativity from the people I know. Unfortunately everyone hasn’t been very supportive and it’s expected. But I’m just trying to surround myself with positive vibes and go through with the choice I’ve made. Who knows maybe one of these days I’ll have a second partner -shruggs- guess we’ll see.

Oh! I went to see rocky horror last weekend at one of our theatres here in orlando. It was pretty cool yet slightly weird. Got rice down my bra, got hit in the head with a beach ball, got toilet paper and paper confetti on me.. but all in all I had a pretty awesome time.

So to summarize everything I got fired from my old job, I got a new job at walmart, I’m slowly starting to branch out and try to include other people in my life. I’m in a polyamorous relationship and I’m poly curious. I’m happy with my life right now. I think my guy is the greatest dork on this earth. And I’m looking forward to things looking up πŸ™‚

5 things about me :)

•May 2, 2008 • 4 Comments

Cj tagged me and since he’s awesome I couldn’t NOT do it πŸ™‚ So here we go!

5 things found in your bag

  1. Lip gloss
  2. my Zune
  3. credit cards
  4. eyeliner
  5. money

[[I know typical girl purse πŸ˜€ ]]

5 favourite things in your room

  1. My make-up box
  2. my bed
  3. my computer
  4. my awesome pants!
  5. uhh….. my notebook.

5 things you have always wanted to do

  1. Open up a performing arts center. I want to have a place where kids and teens and even adults can go and express themselves in creative ways through music and dance and theatre. I think it would be a really nice accomplishment. Right now only a rough vision but hopefully in some years I can make it happen.
  2. Be in a band. That would seriously make my life so much more awesome. Not even with the intentions of getting famous or anything just for fun just to make music and be free.
  3. Learn how to play the guitar. People say it’s a generic instrument that everyone knows how to play like the piano. But I still wanna learn! I think it’s a beautiful instrument.
  4. Travel. I wanna go to spain and hawaii and england. New York and California and Washington. I’d love to travel. Hopefully in a few years I’ll be able to do so.
  5. Write a fantastic piece of music. There’s nothing like hearing someone [or multiple people] singing or playing something that you have created. That is a huge huge goal of mine. Probably classical. More reason for me to go to school and get to learnin’!

5 things you are currently into

  1. Polyamory. Being that I’ve recently entered into a polyamorous relationship and everything is still very new to me, I’ve been researching alot and seeking advice from experienced people.
  2. The law of attraction. It seems to be working well for me.
  3. My new partner πŸ™‚
  4. LEarning how to cook new foods.
  5. Changing my life.

5 people you want to tag

  1. I’m going to be lame and not do this part. Lets just say if you want to do it do it and I’ll happily read!

How do you own disorder?

•May 2, 2008 • 1 Comment


Alright. So people usually ask me why i’m always at home and I say that I don’t have any friends. They say well you have all those people on your myspace… why don’t you hang out with them?
Well Because I don’t hanve a life I decided to go through my friends list and see who was on there.

Here’s what I gathered:

40 of the people are bands.
10 of them I do not know at all… which means they may get deleted soon.
11 of them I know but never met.
44 of them I know but I’ve never hung out with them in my life. Probably just knew them from school.
45 of them I know but I don’t hang out with them
03 of them I do hang out with, one of them I just put there because he has been making an effort to chill with me. Otherwise it would be two.

Out of the 45 I don’t hang out with, About 20 of them is because they moved away or we loss touch or both. about 7 of them were exes or dated for a moment then stopped. About 8 is family and I don’t hang out with my family at all. 5 of them I just simply don’t have the desire to hang out with them, 2 of them have no desire to hang out with me, 2 of them I just haven’t gotten around to it, And 1 person I’m hesitant for hanging out with for deeper reasons.

so there ya go. A more detailed look at my friends list and why I don’t hang out with them.

It’s disrespectful when someone does not respect your wishes. When they think so highly of themselves that they just know that they can change your mind. Someone who I haven’t seen in like 4 years I saw today. An ex boyfriend. He happened to stop by my car and ask about my bumper because he fixes up cars. He had no idea who I was until I said my name. We exchanged numbers, and that was only because i knew he could help get my front end fixed. In that conversation he asked “where ya man at?” I said “I dunno somewhere” and he went on this rant about being single and his last woman disrespected him and blah blah blah. Whatever didn’t care. But anyway I told him he could come see the bumper I have to see if it could be put back on or if I needed to get a new one. Said okay, I got gas and that was the end of that.

8 something came and I get a phone call. Gave em directions to my house, he came looked at the bumper said that he could get one in better condition he would just have to travel farther for it probably. But anyway we talked and such, he got a little bit too close to me. And he was all “it’s up to you where this goes” and I had already told him I had someone, and I wasn’t interested in him. But yet he kept trying saying things, trying to get close to me, I tried to be nice but I had to put my foot down a bit firmer because I was getting annoyed.

I don’t like that. If I say I’m not interested I’m not interested. If I say I’m already with someone and I don’t need you that’s what I mean. It’s not for you to try to convince me. But maybe it is because when he saw me I was only like 14 and I was no where near as strong as I am now. So maybe he thought that I was still lil old weak Dyamond, and he could just talk and do as he pleased and I’d just say okay. Even if I was still that way you should still do as someone asks. It shouldn’t have to take someone being strong enough to stand up to you for you to back the fuck back. But that’s life. That’s people for you.

I’m changing my myspace page today or tomorrow. I’m probably going to change pages on other sites too. I’m in a mood where I want change. And its a bit funny because as far as like life and everyday things go I didn’t use tolike change. If I go to a resturant I always order the same thing, I always drive the same way somewhere, I always go to stores where I know how to find everythiing and when walmart remodeled their stores I was irritated because I had to look for everything all over again. I like to keep the same person in my life [although that never happens, but hopefully that’s over and done with too] because if they leave then I’d have to replace them and get to know someone else all over again. thats not the only reason i wanted to keep them but you get it. Now I’m at a point in my life where I do want change.I want lots of change in my life. I even wanna change the way I look. Not like plastic surgery type change just like I want brighter hair I want more dresses I want a wardrobe that isn’t just tshirts and jeans for the most part. I want more piercings… I want to have more hobbies I want to

You don’t deserve meaningful lyrics. Just a slap in the face.

•May 2, 2008 • 1 Comment

Well I was going to avoid writing again until later on tonight after my interview but to avoid taking a drive and smoking the rest of my pack of cigarettes I decided I’d write now. And later.

I don’t let people get to me. Not usually. If you don’t like me fuck you. If you don’t agree with my ways fuck you. If you talk bad about me I’m flattered you’d take time out of your life just to think about me. But there are times where I just get mad. And this is one of those times.

I’m not all that smart. I got only A’s and B’s all the way up to the 10th grade where honestly something happened and I couldn’t recover that year. And the years that followed I just stopped caring. I didn’t have completely horrible grades but they just weren’t like they were before.

I don’t care about politics. I slightly care about the enviroment and other issues but I’m not a big huge activist or anything and I don’t know what’s going on in the world. I can’t sit down and talk to you about bus routes and presidents and construction. I don’t use big words. If you openly talk about something I don’t know about I will ask you what it means. Sometimes you have to repeat things to me so I’ll understand. If I don’t know what a word means that you use I’ll ask about that too. I don’t always use proper grammer, I spell things wrong all in all I’m not all that smart.

People who are smarter then me don’t phase me. It doesn’t make me feel insecure because I’m comfortable with the way I am. But what I do not like is when someone looks down on me or places themself above me because I don’t know what they are talking about and don’t really have things in common. I don’t like that when I speak about things that I like it’s pushed aside my feelings are pushed aside like they don’t matter like they are fucking insignificant because you know better than me and I’m foolish and immature and stupid.

Nobody is better then me. I don’t give a fuck who you are or what you do. And not just me, everybody. Ain’tΒ  nobody on this earth better than no one other person and for you to even think that you deserve to be kicked hard.

I have my things that I know about. I have my own interests that I think are amazing. I am obsessed with music. I sit and listen to the same sound countless times each time picking a different part to listen to wanting to see how it hears by itself, determining if the tune could be used alone, if it is really needed in the song and would it change had it not been there. Or simply single it out because its nice. I sit on my computer and I look up information about fantastic composers like Antonio Vivaldi and Gioachino Rossini. I love the performing arts all forms. I really really like to do math. I can make Jewelry. I can cook. I have learned alot of life lessons. I am wise in that aspect and I give my friends good advice. I know how to give love, I am a compassionate person and I have alot to offer.

So don’t push out your fucking chest because you don’t have the fucking right to do so. If you don’t wanna get off your pedestal I’ll push you off and laugh while you lay bleeding on the ground.

Stupid son of a bitch.

stop it. reevaluate. get over it.

•April 28, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I’m irritated. I don’t like having negative feelings about girls. But they always cause problems. And it’s pretty much for no reason. And it’s pretty much because they are envious and jealous… for no reason. It’s irritating to walk by a girl and she gives me a dirty look. Why? Because. There is this girl who is in my room with me at work, and she’s always staring. Not in that oh she’s so hot way that everyone else stares, but in that “she think she’s all that” way. And yea, I do.

But what’s wrong with that? People in general spend time being jealous because someone has something that they do not have. Qualities or certain things that they wished they did have. But we all aren’t going to have everything. Someone out there is going to have one more notch under their belt than you do. Always. No matter how good you are, no matter how beautiful you are… No matter what you have, someone is above that. And well that’s just life. You shouldn’t hate someone for that.

I wish that instead of getting jealous and throwing all sorts of negative vibes out into the universe, just love yourself enough to admire another person with nice qualities. We have enough bad shit going on in the world. And some of us have rough lives. And when you add unneeded stress just because someone has something that you don’t, or maybe you do have it but you are intimidated because they have it to it just makes things more bad for you. When I see a pretty girl I’m always like wow she’s beautiful. And it’s not in the attracted to her way [sometimes it is] but sometimes I’m just like wow she’s pretty. Or I admire the confidence she has. Or whatever. I’m not snarling and saying “she think she all that” because maybe she does. And that’s awesome that she does.

I don’t like it when my guy friends get girlfriends. And it’s not because I don’t want them to be happy, I just know that drama closely follows. Because I still kick it with them, everything is cool, and then eventually I get a message, I get a phone call, I get something telling me to back off. Because they feel threatened by me. And then I always tell them dude just calm down. Your guy is with you not me. There is obviously something fantastic about you that he sees and that’s why he’s with you. I dont go around breaking up relationships taking other girls guys from them. But they just see me, I’m pretty awesome, they feel threatened by my awesomeness and feel like I have to be eliminated so homie won’t have no reason to leave her. And see if you let him see that jealousy some of them think it’s cute, some think it makes you a lil crazy, it makes you look insecure, and alotta guys like confidence. they do. You should be confident in yourself and not feel threatened by another female. You are very awesome. Just because there is someone just as awesome as you, doesn’t mean they should automatically die. It’s not worth it dude and if he does leave you for someone else yea that would suck, but still if you know you’re a good person then just know it wasn’t your loss it was his.

I remember back in school alotta people loved Maria and alotta people didn’t. alot of my friends talked about her just because. They always had something to say about her. The girl had confidence out of this world. She was like head of everything. She had it going on. And people always had something to say about her. But she was really cool though. I remember I had some issues going on and she told me I could come stay at her house if I needed time away. this person that everyone loved to hate because she was awesome, was really just a person and she was a nice person at that. People are so quick to judge and say something bad before saying something good. And I hate that.

I don’t go off on tangents feeling threatened by every pretty girl. Every girl who is ultra confident in herself. Ever girl who has cool hair, cool clothes, cool whatever. Life is too short to be adding that unneeded negativity for no reason. I love myself. I carry myself in that manner. Don’t hate me because I do. Don’t change it and make me look stuck up because im not. im just confident. Because you’ll feel pretty stupid when I give you a genuine smile, and a genuine compliment about you. I believe in lifting people up not bringing them down. I believe in praising other people just as much as I praise myself. It makes things alot more smoother.

I just felt like talking about that. Because it’s stupid. And I know some bitch will look at this and take it the wrong way entirely. Because that’s just how they are.

-giggles-

it’s okay. You’re still pretty awesome.