It’s the morning… and I feel… Lonely.

Feeling lonely isn’t good.

Specially when you have a significant other that should fill that lonely spot.

I’m not a picky person. I don’t have a long list of things that you have to do in order to be with me.

I just ask that you:

1. Don’t Lie to me.
2. Respect me.
3. Give me a little bit of attention
4. Give me the same love that I give you in return.

I’m not a clingy person. I let you have your space, and I have mine too. A little time apart is not a bad thing at all… But when I don’t hear from a person allllll day long, it makes me think well, what’s going on? Why won’t they pick up? They aren’t online either… What are they doing that they cant pick up the phone and call me? Excuse me if I sound bitchy but I believe that I have every right to be upset at the moment…

I’m not asking to see him on a daily basis. I know that won’t happen. I’m not even asking for him to stay on the phone with me for hours at a time, or call me every five minutes. But a little phone call to say hi to me, let me know how things are, let me know what they are doing today so that I won’t be clueless, and so my mind won’t wander to ridiculous places like “Maybe he’s ignoring me” or you know something along those lines.

Even if he just called and said “Hey Dyamond I just called to say hi and I love you.” That wold make the rest of my day. Or to make it a bit more precise, “Hey Dyamond I have this, and this, and this going on today, but I just called to see how your day was going.” Not a long phone call, but it lets me know that at least I’m on his mind…

I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I’m not saying that the fact that he doesn’t call means he doesn’t care, or that his love for me is diminishing, but see I’ve had enough lousey men in my life, so my mind is pretty much programmed to go to the negative first. And lately I’ve seriously been like… forcing positive thoughts in my head… because I know that he’s not like the other men. But I do need a little reassurance. Giving me a phone call that takes like 2 seconds? That’s reassurance for me. That puts my mind at ease. And it’s not like I call like over and over and over again. The other day I called like 4 times. But one was at noon, the other was at like 3pm, the other was at like 6:30, and I can’t remember when the other time was. And yesterday I called at noon, and at 6 something. Just twice. And I couldn’t even get called back.

So here I am, already stressed out with things in my family, now I have to cram positive thougths into my head about this too.

I’m probably over reacting. But I kinda don’t really care.

I’m making an effort to communicate. Nothing in a relationship can be one-sided. Not even little things like this.

~ by dyadya on January 18, 2008.